At the top is the house I grew up which is now abandoned, and at the bottom is the run down kampung school where my father and I got our primary education.
Today is the sixth day my father is in ICU. His condition was no less better than six days ago when he was admitted.He was admitted for breathing difficulty resulting from lung infection.His old age at 87 makes recovery a daunting task.
I have always known my father as an easy going person who disliked suffering.If he got the choice he wouldnt want to be put in the ICU with tubes strapping his face and body and lying on the bed completely knocked down with sedation drugs.He would prefer all those tubes that connect to the life support machines be pulled out and let God decide on his fate.But technolgy had kept him alive, and his children were hopeful that the machines would help in turning him around , or at worse the machines would assist him in facing death less painfully.
I called my father occasionally just to test his response. He did respond through chattering his jaws as if he was answering me. He definitely had something to say to me, but no words could come out.His favourite word was my promise to bring him back to Sitiawan to spend the Hari Raya in his own house.This showed that my father was mentally alert.Last night when I visited him he was more alert than the previous night. This was because the doctor had stopped administering the drug making him more aware of the surroundings.
My brothers and sisters supported my father throughout this ordeal.My sister Nor had sacrificed the most, and my sister Ham showed up from Ipoh 6 days ago, and both were in constant vigil at the ward. My brother Latif did his best committing his time , money and energy to my father.Rodi and Man also visited my father and stayed by the bedside to confort him.Close relatives such as my auncles, aunties, nieceand nephews gave us support by turning up at the hospital. Looking at my father's helpless condition in bed was depressive for me.I used to know my father as a strong and happy man who had overcome many problems, especially in days he was struggling to bring us up.My father had many shortcomings, but he had some traits I admire-easy going, spontenous,taking life as it comes and fully devoted to family life. I hope my father would pull through this, and eventhough my father can last another 1 to 2 years, it was still worth it, as I wanted to be most intimate with my father.
On 7th September 2007, my father had spent seven days in ICU.We all agreed that seven days in ICU was too long a period for my father, but we were not giving up hope. I was in a dilemma what to do with my father.At last at about 300 PM we all decided that my father should not be supported by the incubator. It was a decisive moment for my father.All my sisters and brothers, including cousins and nephews assembled at the ICU ward to witness the the support system be removed from my father.It was a tense moment and we could only say our prayers. Soon after my father was breathing on his own. He was panting for breadth, but the blood pressure,pulse rate and oxygen level indicated that he was doing fine.We decided to move our father to a single bed room so that we could monitor his progress and gave him as much comfort.Throughout the night my father was short of breath. But he was responding to our call and was communicating minimally with us. He was aware of what was going on around him and acknowkledged me when I said something. I feel very close to my father at that time and was happy that he was not at the ICU.
The next day on 11th September, my father had not shown any improvement. He looked very weak as he was not being able to catch any sleep.His condition detoriated and at 400 PM my sisters and brothers agreed that my father should be taken home, My father was transferred home on an ambulance at 600 PM to Nor's house.When I reached Nor's house at 630 PM my father was already on bed with an oxygen mask. He was breathing very poorly. We went to the surau for maghrib and stayed at the mosque for Yasin. While waiting for isyak, my wife called me saying that my father's condition was extremely precarious. I rushed home to see that my beloved father was no more.
The following day my father's burial arrangement was organised by my brother in law Rosdi.I washed my fathers body, rubbing up his face and torso. Despite his long illness my father's body looked firm and strong.We took my father to the mosque for prayer and proceeded to the funeral ground for burial. It was the last service for my father as I helped to fill up the grave with earth and sat on the prayer mat during talkin which was recited by Rosdi.
