I was host to the revered Tuan Guru who dropped in casually at the kenduri in my Kelantan house.
This is the second time I spent my idilazhar in Kelantan. The first was in 1976, that was almost 30 years ago, when I took a long whole night ride on a passanger bus to Kota Bharu, just to meet a girl I like who become my wife now. That too was the beginning of my liking for Kelantan, which is my second home for all these years.
Idilazhar in Kelantan is different from any other states. The people celebrate the day with more activities. Wedding, kenduri, korban and family gathering take place on this day.I have only 3 days this time to be in Kelantan, but the days were full of activities and strong impression. The night we arrived we went to visit my wife's family at Kubang Palas. As there were so many houses to drop by, it was almost at midnight that we finished calling upon the must go family members and strenghteneing the family ties.Kelantan people are very good at nurturing family relationships and family members get support from one another in the life journey. I believe my wife, whose father deserted her with her single mother paddy farmer eking a peasant life from the land, would not be able to make it without the support of a host of extended family system. Under similiar circumstance in an urban society, my wife would not likely to pull herself out of the poverty trap and the utter backwardness of the kampung mind.
There were two weddings to attend. Unlike 30 years ago when I wed my wife, the ceremony and the celebration then were simple and basic.Now at one of the wedding, there were canopies , chair and tables for gusets to sit down and buffet style serving with better food. Despite that ,wedding ceremony was a more straightforward event if we compare with the one in Petaling Jaya or Kelana Jaya.There is no kompang, no bersanding, no elaborate decor, no fency canopy . no pari pari and certainly no red carpet and any other antics.The wedding in Kelantan should be the example of Malay wedding.It is meant to solemnise the couple as husband and wife and to announce to family members and friends of the reunion.By going away with those antics and elaborate practises typical in west coast marriage, and focusing on getting married, wedding cost in term of time and money can be reduced.Even by adhering to basics, a Kelantan marriage expenses that the boy will have to bear would be around RM 20,000 , and a similiar figure is likely to be spent by the girl. That would be 2 or 3 times more in the West Coast.
There was another kenduri I have to attend and this time at Kampung Laut at Nik Masturi's house. It was a aqikah by all the 6 brothers and sisters of Nik Mastura.I had known this family since 1972 when I was a university volunteer at Kampumg Laut. Mastura's mother Kak Ani, was a single mother with 6 children when her husband was killed in a road accident in 1971.She was an example of an independant and gutsy Kelantan women.Most single mother would ask assitance from the welfare to support her, but not with Kak Ani. She went into direct selling, buying and selling batik, keropok, clothings and jewellary in Kelantan and Kuala Lumpur.She managed to educate the children and support them at the start of their own life.She owned some properties including in Kuala Lumpur, whose beneficieries is her own children. Indeed the house she left behind in Kampung Laut is a nice bungalow, leaving it to Nik Mastura, the youngest of the siblings. Kak Ani was only one of the determined women in Kelantan I have known, for there were many others that I admire for their strong determination to suceed.
